Real World Confessionals

 I feel like I haven’t made a new post in FOREVER. I have WANTED to write everyday…but I’m feeling a major blockage. You see, what used to be a new and challenging thing EVERY SINGLE DAY (Diet and Crossfit) is now just a routine and regular part of my life. Uh Oh! What am I going to write about now?? Although, I DO have a MAJOR confession to make. This really shouldn’t be a big deal, but my reaction to it astounded me. Kind of scary actually.

So I went up to Maine this past weekend to have a girl’s weekend with two of my favorite ladies in the world! AWESOME weekend! We didn’t get to go in the hot tub like I wanted, haha. We had Thai food (which was delicious and delivered DIRECTLY to our door), then we got ready to go downstairs to the pool. We figured half hour before the pool closes, there probably wouldn’t be too many people there. We get down there, and there is like some birthday party or something. At 9:30pm… little kids…running around the edge of the pool chasing a ball. Then I see their parents, all tatted up (I have nothing against tattoos, I have two myself, they just irked me this particular day, haha), sitting on the EDGE (not even IN!) the hot tub, while their three VERY SMALL children splashed gleefully in the hot tub. Now I think it was PRETTY obvious we were interested in getting in the hot tub for a little while (I didn’t even think small children were supposed to be IN the hot tub!), I even dropped my sweatpants (which were quickly pulled back up when I turned around and saw a group of three italian looking men, wearing wash clothes for towels around their waist staring a little too hard). I look back and forth to Lauren and Danielle, I reallllly wanted to get in that hot tub. They were NOT buying it (not with Jon and Kate plus 8 already in there). So…to make things EVEN more embarrassing, after dropping my pants and just standing there, then pulling them back up…now we had to make the walk of shame back OUT of the pool. While walking back up the ramp, the little girl who was NOT in the hot tub, but who was running around the pool chasing a ball, kicked her ball into my walking path. I heard a little voice on my left shoulder “pop that ball!” but the good side won out and I kindly spiked her ball back (he he he).

ANYWAY, that is not what I was going to confess to you…I have such an incredible way of getting off track.

So after a wonderful day and a half with my girls, I had to do something that was NOT so fun. I had to remove the rest of my belongings from my ex’s house. Yikes. It had to be done eventually. So after hauling everything from the attic (ps: it was like 6pm and there was no light in the attic…and then one of the cats climbed the latter and I had to fish him out, haha, shit show) down to the 2nd floor with Lauren, and then from the second floor to the first, and then the first to the truck…we were both HUNGRY. So after I dropped Lauren off, I decided to “TREAT” myself to a burrito at Loco Coco’s. First of all, yes, a burrito is not Paleo, and I’m doing a 100% Paleo Challenge. This totally went out the window this day, not going to lie. I was hungry, and I was within a half mile of Loco’s. Now I have to tell you (and I don’t have any other reference, I haven’t traveled to anywhere outside the area that would be able to compete with this), these are the BEST burritos I have ever had. I have TRIED to find a burrito that is better, but I just HAVEN’T. So, you can PROBABLY understand the dilemma I was facing being THAT close to it, and being THAT hungry, and knowing that I had another 45 minutes of driving to go before I was home! So I did it…I stopped. I ordered what I have in the past…not good. I just don’t eat that way anymore, and I knew it! The worst part though, I have ASSOCIATED drinking orange soda with this burrito SO much that I literally felt I had to drink it to make the burrito taste as good. You’re either laughing your ass off right now at how ridiculous this sounds, or your secretly COMPLETELY relating to what I’m saying because you’ve done the same damn thing!

So I get my burrito, pretty excited about it, bring it out to the car. Now, this burrito is MASSIVE! There is NO WAY I can eat this and drive. It’s too big and TOOO messy! So I decide to eat before I go. I take the first bite…dear GOD that is good! Seriously, all of a sudden, I start shaking. My hands are shaking…I feel like with every bite I am doing something SERIOUSLY wrong. I, however, could not stop because a) I just spent 10 bucks on this damn massive burrito, and b) it tastes so freakin’ GOOD! A car pulls up next to me and I turn off the light…I feel like some freak closet binger! and really really gross by the way.

I only eat about half the burrito, and start my drive home, but NOT before I throw all the “evidence” away in the dumpster . Guys, I’m not kidding here. It was WEIRD and PATHETIC! So on the drive home, I am trying to justify it to myself, haha. It’s okay, it’s just one burrito, it’s not going to ruin your life, all the while feeling like I suddenly have four chins. Yeah, I know…wow. Hey, I’m with you on that!

So yes, it IS just one burrito, and it’s really not a big deal. HOWEVER guys, my body KNEW better. What the heck was in that burrito you ask? Nothing but cheese, beans, sour cream and guacamole (yeah, NOTHING healthy in there (maybe the guac!).  I could have ordered something a little healthier, but that is what I used to eat there, and that is why I fell in LOVE with that place in the first place…so why would I go ordering something else?

Was it worth it? Not really sure it was to be honest…the whole time I was eating it, I was feeling BAD about it. Would I have felt SO bad if I had gone the entire 30 days without ANY slip ups…probably not. Did I survive though? Yes I did.

Verdit: Coco’s made me Loco!

Thanks for listening 🙂


2 thoughts on “Real World Confessionals

  1. bethany says:

    I impulsively bought a caramello bar yesterday. I felt I had no control over the situation. Thankfully, I let it casually sit on the counter (though the thought did cross my mind to hide it from Jesse out of shame) for a few hours before I thought of it again. And then, I only ate one square. Jesse said he could taste it when he kissed me (in a good way). And I think I probably could have let it sit there for a long while longer until I decided to write a comment about it. Now I will probably shove the rest of it down my throat right now before Jesse comes home….

    • nadeaujl5 says:

      LOL! It’s funny…I felt SO out of control! It wasn’t the calories or anything like that…it was more the fear that I had just screwed up 6 months of putting my body into a healthier place, hahaha…its GREAT that we KNOW what we know..but sucks too…sometimes ignorance might just be bliss..even for just one damn burrito!

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