Mary, Mary, quite contrary…how does your garden grow?

All things living, must grow

In the last couple years I have grown so much that I sometimes feel like a rubber band constantly on the brink of snapping. There are some SERIOUS stretch marks on my brain, let me tell you. While the majority of these days have been exciting and empowering, there have been days where I have wondered why I am putting myself through this little “project”…and so badly wish to just take a break.

Life is neat. Often we hear exactly what we need to hear, exactly when we need to hear it. It is often hard to ignore that there may very well be someone/something around us keeping us on track in life. When I’m at my  most exhausted point with all the personal improvement in my life, I hear things like these comments in passing conversations with strangers,

“People often get scared when they’re growing and they see the ugliest parts of themselves…and give up”

“We are happiest in an environment of growth”

Then, I came upon the blog of Jessica Sharratt this morning and this post was staring me right in the face…calling me out on my comfort seeking ways…

Like it or not, good or bad, your accumulated choices have added up to your current waistline, business success, relationship strength and bank balance.

Your choices created your problems and the only way out of them is to start, and stick to, making new choices.

But then you ask, How do I know what the right choices are?

Here’s a simple formula:
When in doubt, choose the harder task or what you don’t want to do—that’s usually exactly what you should do. Take the path of MOST resistance.

Put it this way: If you are disappointed in any area of your life, whatever choices you have been making aren’t working.

Definition of insanity:
Doing the same things you’ve always done and expecting different results.

Here is the force you are fighting: You and your brain are creatures of habit. You simply talk yourself into taking the easy, low resistance and comfortable route. Like the pull of a rushing river, your unconscious habits continue to take you downstream in the wrong direction. To change your direction you will need to swim upstream, against the resistance of the rushing river, against your habitual tendency.

Low Resistance:

Going along with the gossip
Surrendering to peer pressure
Saying yes to needless obligations
Submitting to the crying demands of your children
Starting your new program on “Monday” (instead of today)
Reacting in anger
Holding a grudge
Giving the ‘silent treatment’

High Resistance:

Going to the gym when you don’t feel like it
Forgiving someone who wronged you
Feeling the fear and doing it anyway
Admitting you were wrong and apologizing
Ordering the salad when you want the burger
Saying no to (yet another) shot of tequila
Calling that big, scary big prospect (again and again)
If you want to finally attain what’s missing from your life, you need to stop always doing what you feel like doing and start doing the things that make you uncomfortable, the stuff you avoid, and the things that you think are hard.

If you dedicate yourself to only doing the things you don’t want to do, all day long, your results would shock and amaze you and everyone around you.

Make a list of the things you avoid, postpone and hate doing, but you know you should. If you attack those today, your life will change. What’s uncomfortable is good. It only feels wrong at the start because you have an automatic bias toward the easy. Fight that tendency. Swim upstream. Take the path of most resistance.

Now, I’m not sure I completely agree with the statement of dedicating myself to everything I don’t WANT to do. I DO think that we should dedicate ourselves to doing the uncomfortable…but often times, these are things we WANT to do, but are too scared to do because of failure, worrying what people will think, fear, etc. It would be better to go into all scary, uncomfortable situations with the mindset that we are doing this for growth, we are improving upon our former self and sculpting our future self.

Check out what Carey Kepler had to say about this:

Make a decision, focus on one good thing, and take action.

Are you a 2 percenter or a 98 percenter?

Look around,  see what everyone else is doing and do the exact opposite.

If you practiced that one thing, where do you think you would be?  Perhaps you would not watch as much tv and you would read more.  Or maybe you would not spend your money on your 10th pair of jeans, but invest that money and make that money go to work for you.  Or maybe you would train smarter, train while others are sleeping in, and take your game to the next level.  Where can you see that you may be following the mass.  Stop, do the exact opposite.  Where there is no ownership, this is not commitment.  Where there is no commitment there is no result.

Action leads to results.  2% of you will change your mind and get to work.  98% of you will settle.

I refuse to settle, I am an ambassador for the 2%.  Even though I sometimes fail, I will die daily to my selfishness and I will go to work, I will take action now.

Action = Results

The reality folks, is that all of our lives ARE a project. We are either growing, or we’re dying. As dramatic as that may be, it’s also the truth. We have one go at this life, and it’s our decision to either sit back and see what happens, or go out and make it exactly what we want.


What’s it gonna be?


Have a great weekend everyone!

Much love,






4 thoughts on “Mary, Mary, quite contrary…how does your garden grow?

  1. beautifullystrong says:

    Reblogged this on and commented:

    A great reminder for me today…what is the RIGHT thing to do, is not always the easier or most comfortable… learning to get COMFORTABLE with the UNCOMFORTABLE!

  2. Alexis Girvan says:

    LOVE this Jen. Thanks for continuing to grow and put WORDS to your growth. Everyone around you is beautifully strengthened because of it. Love YOU. Lex

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